“Why don’t you look alike?” and other questions adoptive parents should be prepared to answer

People can become surprisingly forthright when overcome with the shock of discovering you’ve adopted your child. Whether taking a creative (read: sarcastic) or informative approach, adoptive parents should be prepared to answer questions from family and friends who may not be as agreeable or knowledgeable about the process.

Image Credit: ivillage.ca

Why didn’t you get one that looked like you?
Families are not defined by the extent to which its members resemble each other. The difference in your appearances might as well be due to a collection of recessive genes.

Do you know the real parents?
As far as anyone is concerned, you are this child’s “real parents.” You have woken up at every cry, cleaned countless dirty diapers, and mashed your weight in carrots. You are the very definition of a parent, so unless it’s a question of genetically inherited anomalies, the rest of your child’s family tree bears no relevance to the validity of your parenthood.

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Are you going to have kids of your own?
Despite being fertile, many couples still opt to adopt because they have compassion for the number of children who, by terrible and unforeseen circumstances, are orphaned at a young age. If you and your spouse should wish to have a biological child in the future, you should not base your decision on already having an adopted child in the family.

When are you going to tell him he’s adopted?
First of all, this is not anybody’s decision but yours. When you feel your child is ready to understand what being adopted means– and that despite that, you love him unconditionally because your love does not differ from a biological parent’s– then you can let him know. Until then, family and friends should be sensitive enough not to reveal this to your child unexpectedly.

Image Credit: tapestrybooks.com

Can you love an adopted child the way biological parents love their children?
The simple, unequivocal, and absolute answer to this is yes.

To read more about things adoptive parents should know, visit the Heart to Heart Adoptions website.

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