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The “ticking biological clock” no longer applies to just women. In the last decade, an increasing number of men have opted to adopt or have children by surrogate, foregoing the expectation of starting with a relationship or getting married first. Today, there are more than one million single fathers by choice in the United States.
Self-imposed single dads are few but come from all walks of life. One of the general misconceptions is that single dads are either gay or divorced with full custody. In reality, an alternative situation is on the rise. Many single dads by choice are successful businessmen who, because of focusing on their career, were unable to find a suitable partner or maintain a relationship. Some of them opted out of relationships and marriage entirely because they grew up with divorced parents. In the eyes of American law, this does not make them less fit to be a father.
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Surrogate vs. adoption
Improved fertility technology has allowed men to become fathers without a wife. Some single fathers joke about how “shopping” for the egg donor was an easier process than going on actual dates. Unlike adoption, the cost for surrogacy can exceed $100,000. However, this is a price many men are willing to pay to have “one of their own.”
Though adoption may cost less, single-part adoption policies vary by agency. On top of dealing with an inconsistent system, single fathers have been stereotyped and even faced suspicion. It seems that some parts of the country are not as agreeable to the thought of a man voluntarily raising a child without a “mother.”
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Regardless of how the child comes into a single father’s life, there is no question that he loves the child unconditionally. With a rise in the number of orphaned children– and a recent study finding that men are twice as likely as women to adopt as single parents before the age of 44– it is clear that state and agency policies on single male parent adoption should learn to favor single dads by choice.
At Heart to Heart Adoptions, a fair and thorough interview process is followed for all prospective adoptive parents without discrimination to other circumstances. Learn about its services here.
Heart to Heart Adoptions 